Dad Jokes
- I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now
- I tried to catch some fog. I mist
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type A blood, but it was a typo.
- A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
- Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
- I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
- When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble
- What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in the police station have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
- Velcro – what a rip off!
- Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.